I have always been told growing up to keep my emotions inside. Crying was a weakness. Being loyal to my Father was my first responsibility. No tears! Even when my self seemed to fall into fragments as I shatter the myth of my family, I know that my spirit is whole and was never truly broken. Courage is available to everyone including me. I imagined courageous people were those who were fearless. But now I know that in my survival I have displayed the courage to keep myself going through despair. I grab my bucket and stand in the wind. Feeling my hair blow I reach into my heart and the tears flow. My emotions fill the bucket and I have the courage to become connected. I take a deep breath and allow myself a quiet moment to ask for the help of my higher power. Realizing there may be satisfaction in the experience that frightens me I step willingly into it. Courage to cry is with me like a friend.